So you're here, waiting in the car
I'm washing up and we're going somewhere far

Cleaned up and dress in my very best
We started our date with a kiss and soft caress

If someone told me that all these have to end
I will cry then... but I won't .. ask .."when"

Your smile brightens any day in my life
The voice of an angel, you're so divine

In your embrace I will tunnel and hide
All my worries, troubles took a little dive

As the night falls and daylight comes to a draw
One more day closer and you will be gone

But I won't regret..
For there's one more day 'I love you' to add

Loving someone is now or never was
Say what matters now and nothing will be lost

I will love always and ever forever more
Even when you had flown off

I won't cry when the day comes and curtains fall
For I didn't ask, didn't know that you're gone

As I have you in me
And that's all I'll need

Let us be toughened up by learning cruelty
Overcoming life's struggles can be an uphill task
Fate failing us at our past loves
As we look back on a destiny unfulfilled

Who will be true and caring?
Who will be the special one?
A worn-out soul depleted of all hope
Has given up on the existence of any god

Beautiful hearts, kind-hearted souls
Makes all my troubles insignificant
The lost and lonely out there may have met
Well, only a passer-by completed with a radiant smile...

Life's troubles... Can I ever get away
Guess I can only find comfort and solace in my dreams
Some day, some time and place, a small island perhaps
An embrace that I look forward to finding

Among the lush greenery by the clear everflowing stream
I shall wait quietly for eternity...                                                                        

 

- bernd                                                                        

I creep open my dusty old diaries
Reminising all the lost memories

On the very first page she appears
Then all writings were about her for sure

Every line was I love you
Every ending was I miss you

You have been with me all along
In times of goodness and bygones

And like how my diaries were embed
I love you and there is nothing more to say

When my day comes to a halt
I miss you and all comes to a stop

But when I am to write again
There will be nothing else my pen can wave

Now that you are here with me
I'm glad that both of us have the same dairy   

Lately I've been trying
To fill up my days since you're gone
The speed of our love is blinding
And I didn't know how to hold on
My mind won't clear then
Now I'm out of tears
My heart's got no room left inside
Without you to love anymore

How many dreams will end
How long can I pretend
How many times will love pass me by
How long can I live
Until I find you again

Without the arms of hope to surround me
Will time be a fair weather friend for me
Should I call out to angels above
Or just drink myself sober again
I can't hide and it's true
I still love you

Memory of you just won't let go
And I have no intention to
Have I treated love too easily
Thinking that you are satisified all along
You are my angel, my superwoman
I am only human
And someone without his strength now
No one to love him anymore 

I'd hold you tighter
Closer than ever before
No flame would burn brighter
If I could touch you once more.
Hold you once more

The clock on the wall sings a slow melody
Is there another with you listening together
I miss you
Under the sky of lone stars
I'll wait for you
Until you're back again

Early in the morning, I still dream of you
Only wake up to love you more than the day before
Prepare your day the way you desire
Hoping the first coffee carries the aroma of love

I will ride you to work, ferrying you wherever you go
Lifting your lugguage, carry your burdens off
Walk with you on the every step you climb
Supporting you on your falls, cheering on your progress

Quietly listening to woes, I'll be there anytime
My arms to give the comfort, circling you
I'll sit by you, giving you all of me, fulfil your every dream.
You are the one I love.

My dairy is filled with your name
You completes my day in my journal
My poem ends with your name
You appear in every sentence
My love for you is the content of my writings
You are the reason in my paintings

You are the only one I will love
I wish to kiss you everytime you surface in my mind
You are the reason I'm kind, patient and all nice
I am an angel with you to love 

I will love you forever
The hug is always there for you
The only kiss I won't give is to kiss you Goodbye
You are why I'm in love

So if you feel it in your heart, just stop
And let me know
Don't rush off my shower
Then we can be both in love

-- ANGEL

3: BREAKING THE ICE

"In this container, there's everyone's name" Ms Lane pulling a tin seemingly out of nowhere and placed it on the table "I want everyone to pick a name and you will be the angel of the lucky person you picked. Isn't it exciting?"

Well, initially it does sounds exciting as described by Ms Lane but to think of it further, what if I pick Mr. Dick Head or Pussy McTalkative. Yup, I tend to give nickname to my classmates but that's not the problem now, I don't want to be their angel. And what is the responsibility of one?

"The angel will be like a close friend or a secret muse, however you want to be. I just hope that through this game, all of you will become closer and maybe at the next end of week debrief, we'll have a more lively class enviornment" Of that I do agree with what Ms Lane just said.

Missy Mel-Burnt was the first to draw her 'mortal'. God bless to him or her for having a tanned babe as an angel. Lucky bastard. Soon next in line was Dick Head and Joey Grady. They don't seem too happy with their pick though.

It wasn't too long before I placed my shivering hand into the dark container. I felt a piece of paper and grabbed it, crushing it into a ball and clenched it in my fist. I didn't want to know who he or she is. NO! Not now.

I walked back to my seat and sat down calmly. Slowly I opened my 'hand of rock'. I pry open the torn paper. F, I saw an F, A, it's an A.. Y... Oh shit, it's a Y.. Immediately, I knew what will the remaining letters be. I picked Faye the Queen Iceberg as my 'mortal'.. Oh God, are you kidding me? 

#2: OUT OF BREATHE

Maybe it was the difference in environment around that often makes me wonder if it was stealing the oxygen from me in which I badly needed. Panting and persiring, I hardly have time to catch my breathe of the fast education pace at County High. Physics, theory, practical, Economics, Mirco, macro, Chinese, higher, and even the usually interesting Physical Education is taking the last of breathe available out of me. God! Save ME!

"So how's the first week of County? Ms Lane and her opening speech on our first class End Of Week Debrief as she looked at our sulky faces which darkens the room.

"Alright, let's hear it from Gary. So, what's the difference between your classmates back in Singapore and the students here downtown?" A inquisitive question from the delightful Ms Lane.

Curiousity kills the cat and how I wish Ms Lane was that pitiful animal. As much as I tried to avoid the question, the pressure from the current classmates were forcing a lie out of me. To say the truth, my classmates of now ain't as nice as the ones I used to share a room with. Beside asking for directions around the campus, the rest of the conversation were of questions about homeworks and lecture notes.

"Anyway," Ms Lane breaking the silence and pulling me from Satan's hands, "today I'll introduce to you fellows a game and hopefully it can help bond you all together. It's called Angels and Mortal."

Amazingly, the room seems so much brighter now.   

 

#1: WHAT'S OUT THERE

Have you ever played an ice-breaker game known as "Angel and Mortal"?
Well, I had and I must say it was both a little scary and fun. It was first introduced to me during my short stay as a transferred student. The rules of the game basically is to be an angel of anyone or having someone as your angel, looking out for you. However an angel you want to be will be of your calling. If you have pick someone of your liking to be the 'mortal' you want to care for, I think the game will be more of a second nature than of a chore. Most of the time, the popular girl or guy in the campus has tonnes of 'angels'. This can be a dating game if you look at it in some other manner but to me, it's just a game, or so I thought.

It was going to be a tough change of environment but I wasn't going to let that fear ruin my opportunity to enjoy my prolong stay in a foreign campus. I was welcomed warmly by the teaching staffs of my new campus. Most of them are old while the rest probably were from the Ice Age. And after a short brief in a oversized hall packed with unfamiliar faces by the principal, I was escorted to my new classroom by a much senior student.

"Here's your class, mate. Hope you would like your stay here." Words of comfort by the senior.

I smile back and proceed into the room before silencing everyone as though Elvis has re-enter the building. That was certainly awkwardness and it's not until Ms. Lane stepped into the room.

"I guess you guys meet the newly transferred student. Gary, would you mind introducing yourself?"

Gone was the glutters but in comes the nervousness as I narrated my life before transferring to County High in front of drozens of staring eyes. But like any other time when I have to do a speech in front of a crowd, I would prefix my sight on something to ease the tension. And this time, that something was a girl who gazed out by her wondow seat. The morning sunshine embedded her in such gracious manner, I began to lost track of what I was saying and starts to wonder, what's out there?

She would have given me all of her heart
But there's someone who tore it apart
I taken just all that she gave so willingly 
Now I hope you will try to love again, for me 

But I know
The first cut is the deepest
When it come to being lucky in love, I'm cursed
When it come to loving you, I'm worse

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
I'm sure going to give us another try
And I'll promise that you'll never again cry

You say love's forever and that it never stays
In you I'm enlightened that it's true
I'm tired of a world undone
I've figured out you're my setting sun
All is unfinished and yet gone

It's cruel
The way I'm needing you
It's my heart, not my mind and it's taking over
Cruel that suddenly it's true
No longer can I choose
It's in you I'm defined and there is no other

I can hold back emotions
Get lost in a maze
But an urgency tells me
I just can't refrain
Dreams have come and passed me by
But now it's time to redefine

I've seen it come and go so many times
But this is critical, the truth happens on me
I can't hide
I want to walk but I ran back towards you
And I don't know why

I hate myself for loving you
It's cruel the way I'm loving you
Cruel that love's forever but never stays